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Edumacation

Dr. Buck Maxner and Gill Biffits believe that the children are our future.  We must never neglect the children.  Won't someone please think of the children?  Both Bush and Kerry have not thought of the children in the way that they should be thought of, which is our future.  Maxner and Biffits will pledge to keep this poor child's finger out of his nose and back on his desk where it belongs.  The following is our 4-point plan for improving education in America, while reducing costs.

No Child Left Backwards Except Stupid Lazy Ones

1.  Expel dumb students who don't make the grade.  This will improve average test scores and not waste the valuable time of our teachers.  Note that this doesn't include all dumb students, nor does it include all students who don't make the grade, since the dumb student who receives good marks works hard, and the smart student who doesn't pass has potential.  An alternative would be to allow dumb students who don't make the grade to do janitorial work, which would keep them off the streets.

2.  Force teachers to work summers, either in the classroom or doing construction work on new schools.

3.  Maxner/Biffits will invest in an advertising campaign that promotes nerdiness, which will encourage students to pursue careers in math and science.

4.  Above all, we will always think of the children.